organise

couldn't organise a bun fight in a bakery

(Someone) is utterly incompetent or unable to arrange things successfully; (someone) can't even manage or carry out the simplest of tasks. Primarily heard in UK, Australia. I'm not surprised Marie's event was a disaster—she couldn't organize a bun fight in a bakery! The leaders of this country couldn't organise a bun fight in a bakery, so why on earth are people trusting them to handle this situation properly?
See also: bun, fight, organise

couldn't organise a chook raffle

(Someone) is utterly incompetent or unable to arrange things successfully; (someone) can't even manage or carry out the simplest of tasks. ("Chook" is an informal term for a hen or chicken.) Primarily heard in Australia. I'm not surprised Marie's event was a disaster—she couldn't organise a chook raffle! The leaders of this country couldn't organise a chook raffle, let alone overhaul the entire tax code!
See also: chook, organise, raffle

couldn't organise a chook raffle at a poultry farm

(Someone) is utterly incompetent or unable to arrange things successfully; (someone) can't even manage or carry out the simplest of tasks. ("Chook" is an informal term for a hen or chicken.) Primarily heard in Australia. I'm not surprised Marie's event was a disaster—she couldn't organise a chook raffle at a poultry farm! The leaders of this country couldn't organise a chook raffle at a poultry farm, let alone overhaul the entire tax code!
See also: chook, farm, organise, raffle

couldn't organise a chook raffle in a (country) pub

(Someone) is utterly incompetent or unable to arrange things successfully; (someone) can't even manage or carry out the simplest of tasks. ("Chook" is an informal term for a hen or chicken.) Primarily heard in Australia. I'm not surprised Marie's event was a disaster—she couldn't organise a chook raffle in a country pub! The leaders of this country couldn't organise a chook raffle in a country pub, let alone overhaul the entire tax code! No wonder the strike failed. Those dipsticks couldn't organise a chook raffle in a pub!
See also: chook, organise, pub, raffle

couldn't organize a piss-up in a brewery

rude slang Is unable to arrange things successfully. (A "piss-up" is a social gathering at which people drink an excessive amount of alcohol—something that would be easy to do in a brewery.) Primarily heard in UK, Australia. No wonder Marie's event was a disaster—she couldn't organize a piss-up in a brewery!
See also: organize

couldn't organize an orgy in a brothel

rude (Someone) is utterly incompetent or unable to arrange things successfully; (someone) can't even manage or carry out the simplest of tasks. I'm not surprised Marie's event was a disaster—she couldn't organise an orgy in a brothel! The leaders of this country couldn't organise an orgy in a brothel, let alone overhaul the entire tax code!
See also: organize
Farlex Dictionary of Idioms.

couldn't organize a piss-up in a brewery

BRITISH, INFORMAL, VERY RUDE
If you say that someone couldn't organize a piss-up in a brewery, you mean that they are extremely bad at organizing things. She was fired after saying her boss couldn't organize a piss-up in a brewery. Note: A piss-up is a slang word for an occasion at which a lot of alcohol is drunk.
See also: organize
Collins COBUILD Idioms Dictionary, 3rd ed.
See also:
  • chook
  • couldn't organise a bun fight in a bakery
  • couldn't organise a chook raffle
  • couldn't organise a chook raffle at a poultry farm
  • couldn't organise a chook raffle in a (country) pub
  • couldn't raffle a chook in a pub
  • organize
  • pub
  • raffle