humorous A hypothetical instrument that one claims to play in mock sympathy of someone thought to be complaining unnecessarily. Often accompanied by the gesture of rubbing the index finger and thumb together to "play" said violin. Your fancy new phone broke? Oh no, let me play the world's smallest violin. A: "I can't believe the Wi-Fi is down. What am I supposed to do if I can't stream my movie?" B: "Here, I'm playing the world's smallest violin just for you."