wear the pants, to

To be in charge in or control of a relationship or family. The phrase is typically applied to a woman, contrasting the fact that pants were historically only worn by men, who were traditionally the decision makers within a household. Often followed by "in the family" or "in the house." I think it's pretty obvious who wears the pants in that family—Grandma Helene. Actually, in our relationship, we both wear the pants—we make decisions together.

Exercise controlling authority in a household, as in Grandma wears the pants at our house. This idiom, generally applied to women and dating from the mid-1500s, a time when they wore only skirts, equates pants with an authoritative and properly masculine role. Originally put as wear the breeches, it remains in use despite current fashions.

To be boss. This term was long applied to women, particularly wives, who assumed the domineering household role that was believed to belong to the husband. It dates from a time when only men wore pants or breeches and women wore skirts exclusively, at least in the Western world. Times have changed since the sixteenth century, yet although women’s apparel has included both short and long pants for many decades, the phrase still means to assume authority that is properly masculine. It reflects, of course, an indelibly sexist attitude.