through the mill, to go/to be put

To be abused or treated very harshly; to suffer intense anguish, stress, or grief. I went through the mill as a kid in high school. I couldn't get out of there fast enough. The coach was renowned for his strict practice regimen, and his players went through the mill to become the toughest in the state.

Fig. to give someone a difficult time; to interrogate someone thoroughly. (Alludes to putting something through an old-fashioned clothes wringer.) The lawyer really put the witness through the wringer! The teacher put the students through the wringer.

If you go through the mill, you experience a very difficult period in your life with many problems. She's been through the mill these last few years — the collapse of her marriage and her career and a serious illness on top of that. It's been an incredibly tough tour and we have all been through the mill. Note: You can also say that something or someone puts someone through the mill. Following the England side over the years, I have been put through the mill emotionally. Note: The reference here is to grain passing through a mill and being made into flour.

To subject to a severe trial or ordeal.

To undergo hardship or rough treatment. The analogy here is to being ground down like grain. The figurative use of the term dates from the nineteenth century. “We’ve all passed through that mill,” wrote Rolf Bolderwood (A Colonial Reformer, 1890). A newer synonymous phrase, dating from the mid-1900s, is to put someone through the wringer, alluding to a wringer that squeezes moisture out of something. For example, “When they suspect child abuse, the police really put parents through the wringer.”