crutch

Related to crutch: crutch palsy

(as) awkward as a cow on a crutch

Very clumsy or uncoordinated. When my toddler was first learning to walk, she was awkward as a cow on a crutch. He'll never make the basketball team—he's as awkward as a cow on a crutch.
See also: awkward, cow, crutch, on

(as) funny as a crutch

Not funny or amusing at all. Yeah, cancer is about as funny as a crutch, huh?
See also: crutch, funny

could eat the crutch out of a low-flying duck

rude slang Extremely hungry. Often added as emphasis to a literal statement of hunger. ("Crutch" is a variant of "crotch.") Crikey, I haven't eaten anything all day. I'm so hungry I could eat the crutch out of a low-flying duck!
See also: could, crutch, duck, eat, of, out
Farlex Dictionary of Idioms.

*awkward as a cow on a crutch

 and *awkward as a cow on roller skates
very clumsy or off balance. (*Also: as ~.) When Lulu was overweight, she was awkward as a cow on a crutch. Tom will never be a gymnast. He's as awkward as a cow on roller skates!
See also: awkward, cow, crutch, on

*funny as a crutch

not funny at all. (Sarcastic. *Also: as ~.) Your trick is about as funny as a crutch. Nobody thought it was funny. The lame joke Ron told was as funny as a crutch, and we all yawned.
See also: crutch, funny
McGraw-Hill Dictionary of American Idioms and Phrasal Verbs.

crutch

1. n. a car. (Streets.) That’s one fine crutch you got here, Bud.
2. n. a device to hold a marijuana cigarette butt. Here’s a crutch so you can finish your smoke.

p-crutch

n. a police car. (see also crutch = car.) Hey, bro, there’s a p-crutch behind you.
McGraw-Hill's Dictionary of American Slang and Colloquial Expressions
See also:
  • (as) awkward as a cow on a crutch
  • awkward
  • awkward as a cow on a crutch
  • (as) awkward as a cow on roller skates
  • roller
  • on
  • all thumbs
  • all thumbs, to be
  • be all thumbs
  • have two left feet
References in periodicals archive
Suspended Lynch appeared on two crutches to loud chants of her name after Rousey had wasted no time in beating Ruby Riott.
Becky Lynch gets revenge on Charlotte Flair and Ronda Rousey - and fans love it; Lynch appeared on crutches to loud 'Becky' chants shortly after Rousey beat Ruby Riott
He stressed that it is wrong to believe that 'a crutch is a sign of nobility, saying those who are able to face the challenges of making money by being self-reliant and prosper were to be respected.
'Crutch' not for use forever, Dr M tells Malays
Sources said Sutton swung the metal crutch while targeting Reinhardt's head and his recuperating knee.
Doug Reinhardt's Wife Arrested After Beating 'The Hills' Star
"Our player was hit with a crutch, leading to another of our players going to his assistance and punching the guy on the crutches.
Welsh rugby match abandoned amid fighting on and off the pitch; The game was called off after 55 minutes
The aim of the present study was to design and construct a modular ptosis crutch for the South African myasthenia gravis population.
A Modular and Adjustable Ptosis Crutch as a Non-Surgical, Low Cost Solution for Elevating the Upper Eyelid in Myasthenia Gravis
Go Steady has also developed the Grooved Grip for its canes and crutches. The soft, comfortable grip fits all hand sizes and is designed to offer better control while lessening finger fatigue.
Lives of the Physically Challenged Improved by Go Steady
Also there is tendency of a person to stand using the support of the metallic post rather than the axillary pad, which increases the risk of crutch palsy nevertheless.
Bilateral brachial plexus compression neuropathy secondary to use of axillary crutches--a case report
He later returned, picked up the crutch and started swinging it the woman and through the ceiling tiles.
The good kebab and the ugly..
The man raised his crutch in the air to stand up for himself, but Townsley snatched it from him and began circling him, hitting him to the legs with the crutch several times.
Disabled man hit with own crutch
Hoops fan Robert Stevenson hit Norman Allardice - who plays in a flute band and is known as Noddy the Proddy - so hard his crutch broke.
Celts fan left me for dead after attack with crutch; Disabled thug jailed for attack outside pub
I went out dressed as pirate for a friend's fancy dress party the other night and took with me a crutch for my make-believe peg-leg.
Knocked off balance by the 'no crutch' policy
"I've been on two crutches - no weightbearing allowed - for probably two months, then one crutch for another two or three weeks.
Packwood displays the will to recover
"I spun around and pinned one up against the wall, then the other girl tried to hit me and I swung at her with my crutch," Herald Sun quoted him as saying.
'Fractured' man defends bikini-clad robber with crutches
Subjects with hypotension (under 100/60 mmHg), hypertension ([greater than or equal to]160/100 mmHg), resting heart rate over 110 beats per minute or any acute trauma that would affect crutch usage were excluded.
Axillary or forearm crutches: comparing postural sway in single leg stance and perceptions of safety
A LIVERPOOL hospital last night launched a crutch amnesty after 2,000 walking aids went missing.
Hospital launches crutch amnesty