couldn't [act/argue/fight] (your) way out of a paper bag

humorous

if someone couldn't act, argue, fight etc. their way out of a paper bag, they act, argue, fight etc. very badly.

It's no good asking Jim to protect you - he couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag.

• light up something
• light up somewhere
• light your fire
• like a bat out of hell
• like a blue-arsed fly
• like a bolt from the blue
• like a breath of fresh air
• like a bull at a gate
• like a bump on a log
• like a dose of salts
• like a dream
• like a headless chicken
• like a lamb
• like a lamb to the slaughter
• like a lost soul
• like a man possessed
• like a million dollars
• like a shag on a rock
• like a shot
• like a ton of bricks
• like a woman possessed
• like blue blazes
• like clockwork
• like crazy
• like death